anonymejesuis

well i'm crazy

2008-11-04T00:42:07Z

another doctor who doesn't know whats wrong with me. cheer. back to square one

2 years?

2008-10-15T22:50:05Z

It's amazing what can happen in 2 years.wow
I haven't even had time to use a computer in so long...chuckle

quick update.
this is mostly for myself which will explain later

now married, have a 1 year old daughter who is the craziest little babyzilla in the world..=)
have baby #2 on the way, and I bought a home.yeah.

and i'm going crazy.I can't remember anything older than a day, so i'm going to try to get back into this to help myself remember who I am if I forgot who I am.
i've been sick for over a year and still no one knows whats wrong with me, after a year, 7 doctors, enough blood taken from me, telling my i'm crazy, I have add, I'm too stressed, I'm depressed,take this medication, this, this, this, this, this, see a therapist, a stress counselor. and finally narrowing it down to I have a hormone imbalance. yeah. which they still haven't figured out why. They where suppose to call back today with an appointment for an mri or cat scan, can't remember, but as usual, doctors are slow and don't give a crap.

=)

squirrels

2006-11-07T23:50:33Z

I have this thing for squirrels, they're the coolest damn animals on this planet!
I wasn't paying attention today, I hit a squirrel when I was driving, it was already dead, but I still ran over a dead squirrel. It ruined my day, I was so upset. Plus I still feel really bad. Poor thing was so small. =(

still improving

2006-10-28T23:14:52Z

Welp, still improving
fianlly got my own place again. I can't thank my friends enough for what they've done for me in the last 8 months. You've been lifesavers, really. Business is taking off, work is going good, my g/f doesn't seem so pist at me anymore, and i'm alot happier.
now I just want this business to go full swing so I don't have to do 2 full time jobs. I've already been working 7days a week 12+ hours a day for 3 weeks now.
oh well.

ears.........and rants........

2006-09-18T03:58:22Z

So I got an ear infection. It's rather anoyying. I don't know how, I have this thing about keeping my ears clean, they get cleaned 3 times a day. (yeah yeah I know it's wierd) Needless to say, having green stuff come out of my ear is rather, well, odd. I used to get these about every 3-4 months while I was little, from about 4-9 years old. I forgot how much they hurt. I've been downing pain pills all day and watching anime. Now I get to goto work tommorow and attempt to work, either doped up on pain pills, or just bear the pain. either way, working in a loud shop isn't going to help much.

Welp, other than that, my life is somewhat getting back on track now. 4 months away from this type of job was kinda wierd. Now that I think about it, alot of stuff has seemed wierd to me lately. This whole world is going down hill quick. I wish people would take there head out of there ass and think about something other than thereself. It would really be amazing to see a world were more people actually cared about other people. Instead this world is filled with assholes who will do anything to screw someone else as long as it's to there benefit. I figure in the next 20-30 years something is either going to go horribly wrong, unless people learn to change there ways. What is it going to take to change people? why are all these kids growing up so self centered? why do parents let there kids get away with murder and then say there child could NEVER do anything like that, he's an angel. I just don't understand this place anymore.

I wish I could sleep.
would be nice.
I guess i'll continue watchin anime until i'm so tired that I can fianlly sleep.

Clouds

2006-08-21T22:17:25Z

The clouds today were absolutly(SP) gorgeous!
I miss Colorado

Random update

2006-08-18T00:07:54Z

So, Quit my job. I learned I can't work with managers who are so clueless and won't listen to anyone. I was the first, but not the last. 4 people followed me out the door. I kinda feel bad though, I left some people who I liked in some pretty fucked up situations(SP). But I couldn't take it anymore. So I went to a place I used to work at, I was on the property for less than 2 minutes before I got an applications shoved in my hands and hired. =)Funny thing was I got hired by a manager I never worked with, I knew who he was and I guess he knew who I was. So on monday I start going back to being a Mechanic.

The business is going good, we're getting close to having a finished product, which is looking totaly awesome! It's turning out alot better than I was expecting. Plus where we're at, we get alot of people who do business with our friend, so he tells 'em about what we're doing and then they tell everyone else. We've already had alot of people stop by and look at it, and give us business cards. Right now we have 14 people lined up, after it's done, to buy a kit. And at around 5-6k a pop, that will be nice. welp thats about it.

Business

2006-07-31T03:50:11Z

So, after my court day, I did a little thinking(Which I normally don't do) and decided to get the business in full flow. So I took a week off of my crappy new job, and spent a week on the business. From last friday to today was non-stop work, and got ALOT done. Found a place to set up for now until I have enough money to find a more permenent(SP) place. MUCHO thanks to my friend for letting me borrow part of his warehouse(SP). So hopefully in a few weeks we should have a marketable(if thats a word) product. Then we'll get everything done and show quality done by Nopi and that should be our first big area to get the word out. But now I must sleep, I have to go back to my crappy 5am-1 job.

...........................................

2006-07-19T23:10:40Z

well, court was quick on the 11th, walked in, judge said.......hold on one second........fliped through some paper work, said, declined.......next........
so I'm stuck, and I justed wasted a shit ton of money........sigh.......
so now i've been trying to figure out what I want to do....

Random update...

2006-07-06T23:17:58Z

So after court, court, and more court, I'm fianlly going to figure out wtf I can and can't do on the 11th of july. it's been 3 months already and I thought this would go alot faster, guess thats what I get for assuming anything. So my new job, which is stress free, easy, and makes me look at my life in a whole new aspect, is ok. The people I work with, are absolute retards. there are 4 people there who are worth anything, everyone else should go back to middle school and grow up. They're lazy, two faced, and blame everything on everyone else. Nothing pisses me off more than cleaning the store to make it clearner and more organized than anyone can remember, then take 3 days off and come back and it looks like a complete disaster again because people are too damn lazy. I can't wait to get this business off the ground so if i have to deal with people like that, I can just fire them. oh well. Other than that, i've just been reading toooo much lately again. I need to find a way to quit detaching myself from society.

money money money

2006-06-02T00:12:14Z

So I broke down and asked my dad for money, something i've never done before in my life. This had to be the single hardest thing i've ever had to do in my life. I've never asked for anything from my dad before. I'm 25 years old, I was crying like a little girl on the phone, I feel like i've let my dad down. I've always been proud to know that i've never asked for anything from him. My two sisters are always asking him for money, and well I guess just money. I told him I would pay him back as soon as I got everything straightened(SP) out and back on my feet, so I feel a little better knowing i'll pay this back. But I still feel like a failure. I really hate myself right now.

wow

2006-05-07T20:54:25Z

You know, you figure it takes alot to start your own business? well I did, but DAMN
so I've been working on the business, and all i can say, if you think it's only going to take so much, add about 200% to wht you think it's going to take.
random useless update
no one reads this anyways

hahahah

2005-07-05T23:42:36Z

I think I had the most fun today then i've had in like 6 months, and I got fired today from work. =) lifes great
it's amazing to see how much all the effort you put into things, work your butt off to help everyone out that you can. Then they just fire you over something stupid. This whole day i've been getting cussed and yelled at for stuff of not my doing, I had nothing to do with anything. Someone gives me work to do, I do it, then i get yelled at because I wasn't supose to do that. lol what a day. twice that happened today. so by the end of the day i'm not in a good mood. and my head boss (who's cussed me out twice today) wants this job done before i leave...it's 4:30 and I was supose to go home at 5 today because I wanted to stop working long hours. well...he starts yelling at me because he said I've had this job since 8 this morning and I haven't gotten to it yet! blah blah blah...so i tell him I haven't seen that job ever. blah blah blah...procides(SP) to call me a liar blah blah blah....well he tells me to do the job, so i told him to give it to someone else, who you pay more than me, and do less work than me.......then he said, take the job, or pack your shit....so I walked away and packed my shit.....=)
SO! tommorow i get to go look for another job....=) which won't be hard....I think the longest interview i've ever had has been 2 minutes....but I think i might take off a week or so before i get another job. relax a little and catch up on some of the books i've been collecting for the last 3 months.
it's still amazing how ungratful some people are, you work your heart out to help everyone out and get yelled at for doing it.....then fire you because of something stupid.....I think i was set up...=) I've noticed at the last couple of jobs i've worked at that, that when you do better work than the people there and make them look bad, they get upset. Maybe I should down grade my standards of work so I don't make people look bad. I'm tired of having to deal with jeaouls people

wow

2005-07-04T13:02:05Z

Wow, it's been way toooooo long since i've updated this thing. I've been working rediculous(SP) hours. usually 12 hour days 6 days a week. then I usually just read on sundays. I've got all these books I want to read but work is killing me. I guess I pretty much detached myself from the world the last 3 months. Kinda wierd I didn't even log on to check my email. it's amazing how much junk mail you can get when you don't check it for 3 months. welp, it's the holiday weekend so I figured i'd so something different and this is it. I'm still debating if I should go get some fireworks or not. I'm really tempted by all the places up here don't have anything good. I'd have to drive like 300 miles to get anything good and thats alot of reading time I could be doing.

So much

2005-04-05T02:24:58Z

So much to do, yet so much time to do it
working alot all day, but compared to somepeople I hardly work at all
Missing my old life, yet glad I don't have to go through the pain everyday
Lifes changes are good, but in alot of ways very lonely
I miss all my friends but relize maybe they aren't my friends, they never call. When I call them they are too busy to talk.
They must be glad i'm no longer around.

for me

2005-03-30T01:00:01Z

to know, and no one else to know.
I am no one, and at the same time I am someone